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Strippers often wear body glitter and put great effort into thematic costumes and dance routines. This is because they are unfamiliar with the mathematic principal that dictates success in their profession. Just The Facts • Buying a stripper a drink will not get you laid. • Looking a stripper in the eyes while she gives you a lap dance will not make her love you.

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• You don't need to tell the stripper how amazing she smells - she already knows. A Brief History The term 'striptease' was first recorded in 1938, though the word 'stripping', in the sense of women removing clothing to sexually excite men, seems to go back almost 400 years and was first recorded in Thomas Otway's comedy The Soldier's Fortune'(1681). After this point the term 'stripper' appears more commonly in literature.

Men love strippers because they show them their boobs and asses. Seriously they don't even have to have heads. Strippers are Exotic Dancers? Strippers are sometimes referred to as exotic dancers, most frequently by strippers themselves.

In addition to being forced to interact with goofy dipshits, strippers must perform complicated dance moves with their legs permanently spread 90 degrees apart. In one of the industry's only examples of synergy, the job generally becomes much less terrifying as it saps the young dancer's will to go on living Common stripper 'dance' moves include: • Pole Spin (Pole Climb, Pole Turn, Pole Flip, Pole Twist) • The Spread Eagle • The Spread Eagle (with added suggestive finger placement) • The Spread Eagle (with added dry hump of the floor) • The Slow Walk • The Fast Walk • The Boob Smoosh • The Bend Over and Look at the Crowd from Between your Own Legs For each of the above moves there are different varieties.

Simply add the word 'Reverse', 'Upside Down' or 'With Hair Toss' to the above to come up with new moves. For example: • Reverse Spread Eagle • Upside Down Pole Spin • Fast Walk With Hair Toss.you get the idea. Stripping - The Winning Formula There is a formula to stripping that has withstood the test of time. Take a self confident young female, spritz her with some cheap perfume, throw a few sparkles at her face and torso and then tell her to take her clothes off for a bunch of drunks. The result is a truly enjoyable experience for the drunks. You can fill in the underlined sections above with any values and the result will still be enjoyable for the drunks.

For example: Take a forcibly restrained young female, spritz her with some horse urine, throw a few bees at her face and torso and then tell her to take her clothes off for a bunch of drunks. The result is a truly enjoyable experience for the drunks. 'Where are these fucking bees coming from?' But aside from the obvious fact that men love naked chicks there is also an art to stripping. And it's all in the presentation.

The artistry is laid out in three phases - known as 'sets'. The strippers will perform for 3 songs each of which encompasses one set. During the first set they basically just walk around looking slutty - making sure to bob up and down every now and again as if they are in synch with the music. The only items of clothing removed during the first set are the feather boa, the see through skirt and veil, the silk robe or the shirt. The stripper will of course continue to make good use of the pole and the 'dance' moves listed above - but they aren't very naked at this point and accordingly are not very interesting to her audience. Strip club bartenders generally refer to this stage as the 'onslaught' as everyone takes the opportunity to freshen their beverage. Things pick up during the second set when the stripper will eventually take off her bra or bikini top to reveal her boobs.